time to stop

Would you be willing to start counseling and perhaps look into online Gambler's anonymous meetings? Conquering an addiction is not as wasy as clicking your ruby shoes and repeating something 3 times, it takes work, patience and maintence over the long run. If you want to stop, you need to sit down with your husband and come up with a plan before your financial problems get so out of hand he finds out from the financial institutions and not you.

I hope to see more posts from you detailing your journey to recovery.

Hugs-
CK

I can completely relate to what you're going through. I have never felt more depressed and down about myself as I do now. I am set to get married in five months and I'm more miserable than ever. I understand about lying to your husband. I have lied so many times and am so disgusted with myself. I now have no control over my money. Every paycheque I get my fiance keeps. I just ask to have money transferred if I have bills that need to come out. Now, that certainly has not solved the problem though. I've literally found every way to get money that I can.

I have finally ran out though - as of today - I have not one dollar to my name.

Me giving him all my money was the hardest thing I have ever had to do - I am sucessful in my career and should have no problem with money. I knew I had to do it though. For me it was one step in the right direction. I also phoned my bank and had all my accounts changed - that was embarrassing too but at least it's done now.

I am a million miles away from being better but maybe those are a few things that could help you.

I found it impossible to beat this addiction alone. When I found support in a group with other people of "like mindness," things began to change. I just think it's to hard to carry all the gulit and shame that comes from this disease by oneself. For me the group, GA, and my accountability partners have helped me make some radical changes. Once that starts, i felt so relieved and hopeful, I could not help but work harder. One thing I have heard that I remind myself daily is, "either you are feeding your recovery or you are feeding your addiction, youn decide."
Praying for you.
mgc