stumbled again ..but hopeful

Hello my name is Michelle and its been 5 days since I gambled. I can relate to you that everyday is a struggle especially a person like myself who is a compulsive gambler. I for one cannot touch it because i become a monster I lie, decieve and go into financial ruin because of it. What has been helping me is going to gamblers annoynomous they have helped me and support me in my struggles and guide me down a normal path which is real no fantasy. Everyone has a story to tell and it feels good to know that I am not alone. Don't get me wrong I have urges everyday to go gamble and I;m scared that I may fumble but going to these classes helps me have the will not to go gamble. I urge you to go not only will it help you but you will have the support you need to try and get your life back on track. My prayers and thoughts are with you. Keep in touch.

Hi Michelle. It sounds as if we are very similar. I know all about the monster. I feel like one when I gamble. Almost like I'm possessed. I have no control over anything I do ..and I don't stop until I've lost everything. It's odd really. In my regular life I'm a reasonable somewhat intelligent individual. But this disease turns me into something completely different. Just like you, I simply can't touch gambling. If I do, I'm doomed to another miserable experience. I do think GA would be helpful. I'm relatively new to the realization that I have a serious addiction and the fact I can't beat it on my own. I thought I could but hasn't worked out so far. I will seek counseling and hope for better days. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as well. Thanks for reaching out.

I joined this group today. I know the feeling about gambling being an uncontrolable force in my life. I suffer from depression, and gambling has become my escape from everyday life. I know I am out of control and need to stop but just can't control myself. In my city there are a number of casinos and I've been to all of them. What I've learned is that any one of them can and will take your money. It's like I'm stealing from myself when I gamble. The sad thing is before the casino's came to town never gambled at anything. I only play video poker and it takes over my mind while playing. Found a GA group to join a couple of weeks ago, went to first meeting, and back to casino within 3 days. I really need help.

My name is Hattie
This is my first time. I can relate to each of the comments that I have read. My road to being a compulsive gambler began approximately. 10 years ago. I took my mother-in-law to the casino and I won a jackpot of $800.00. Since then I thing I may have gabled away thousands but I have not won over 2,000.00. I am attending church now, I am currently unemployed and I am awaiting my retirement refund. I have not gambled in approximately 2 weeks. I am asking for your prayers that I not gamble when I receive my refund.

My name is Hattie
This is my first time. I can relate to each of the comments that I have read. My road to being a compulsive gambler began approximately. 10 years ago. I took my mother-in-law to the casino and I won a jackpot of $800.00. Since then I thing I may have gabled away thousands but I have not won over 2,000.00. I am attending church now, I am currently unemployed and I am awaiting my retirement refund. I have not gambled in approximately 2 weeks. I am asking for your prayers that I not gamble when I receive my refund.

My name is Hattie
This is my first time. I can relate to each of the comments that I have read. My road to being a compulsive gambler began approximately. 10 years ago. I took my mother-in-law to the casino and I won a jackpot of $800.00. Since then I thing I may have gabled away thousands but I have not won over 2,000.00. I am attending church now, I am currently unemployed and I am awaiting my retirement refund. I have not gambled in approximately 2 weeks. I am asking for your prayers that I not gamble when I receive my refund.

Hattie,

I will absolutely keep you in my prayers. Not gambling for 2 weeks is a considerable accomplishment. If you are capable of that, you are capable of much more. I fight the urge to gamble every day. I still lose the battle from time to time. I can't even explain why I give in. I have no idea why I suffer from these urges. I don't want to gamble. I want to be rid of this. But something inside takes over and I can't help myself. I hope someday it does let go and I can stop my ridiculous behavior. Keep up the good fight and please don't waste that refund on a night of gambling. You know who will win. Good luck!

Today I will be going to a meeting for the first time. I've known I have a gambling problem for a few years but lately it is getting worse. Last night I gambled away my whole monthly paycheck and more. I've never done that and I am in a panic and feeling very ashamed. I appreciate all you are working to manage their lives better and those who support them.

I am glad you are going to a meeting. Losing your entire paycheck is a tough pill to swallow. I have lost a lot of money over the past several months. When I start adding it up, I stop. I start to realize I've gambled away months of my income. It is a terrible feeling. Shame and lack of self worth take over. Just try to keep your head up, go to the meeting ..and hopefully you'll meet some people that are in a similar situation who can give support. Only compulsive gamblers understand what is it like to have this problem. If a person doesn't have the problem, they judge. They typically have no clue what they are talking about and how tough this addiction is to fight. I still can't believe the things I do when gambling takes over. I lose all sense of composure. I can win several thousand and yet, just stand there until it is all gone. I have no idea why I can't walk away. Feels like someone has taken control of me ..and won't allow me to leave until I am broke, so I can spend the next several days feeling terrible about myself. Just know you are not alone. Hang in there ..and I hope the meeting goes well.

Thanks sim17. I did go to the meeting this morning and was welcomed warmly. I found it very helpful and I will go back.