I just want to be normal!

I'm new here but please go to GA, I'm going to pray that you can walk through that door. I'm here because I found out this past year that my 28 year old son is a gambling addict. His father alreadey lost $9,000 trying to get him out of debit etc. However, when I wanted to stop all this my husband would not let me. When my son was 18 he worked in a grocery store in the dairy dept. The dairy manger got him hooked on sports gambling. I wanted to say something to the store owner, like that is not what a manager teaches a young person. But my husband complained that he was 18 and to do nothing.... needless to say, we are now divorced and my husband is getting it right in his face, what I told him long ago. But he would not support me. He would not let our son fall on his face back then and lose his car etc.... Our son is adopted from southeast Asia when he was five years old. I loved this child from the day he stepped off the plane. But now because of his gambling addiction he has bad mouth me to some authorities and my ex-husband is hopefully realizing that he should of but an end to this along time ago.
But Suburban Mom you must think of your children, you need to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table. Please go to GA so that you can be a good role model and be there for your children. The time you spend with them is more important than being in the casino. Hopefully, you will realize that the casino is there to make money not give it to you. As far as you and your husband, maybe some marriage counseling would help. However, I know it does not help everyone. I'm divorced after 30 years and it still hurts.

Thanks KittyBella,
I will go tomorrow, I promise! I will post after my meeting.
Thank you for responding to my post, it is really helpful to hear from someone that has been affected by this addiction.
I hope your son finds help soon, keep in mind he is not gambling to hurt you, it is a sickness that no one chooses. I can't believe that I am where I'm at. If you met me you would never know until you looked at my bank statements.
Blessings to you and your family.

I am waiting to hear that you were brave today and went to GA. Also, just in my opinion you should be checked for depression. I think you should get your family doctor to make an appointment with a psychartist for you.

Anything from a gambling addiction to a shopping addiction is because of depression and medication may just help you. Also, maybe talking to a therapist may just help too. If you cannot afford some of these services some will only bill you on a sliding scale. My best wishes and prayers for you. Stay strong, stay positive.

Hi KittyBella!
I'm happy to report that I went to my first (of many to come) GA meeting. Funny thing that happened is that I went to the meeting thinking it was a GA meeting only to sit at a NA meeting for an hour. Luckily, the GA meeting was in the same building and I was able to go for the last 30 minutes. I met some great people that I can relate to and plan on going again, twice a week is my goal.
Thanks for your support and keeping me in check! Also, thanks for the suggestions, anything I do to get through this time, I will try.
Have you gone to a Gamanon meeting? They suggested that my husband eventually go to help understand the addiction...maybe it can help you with your son?.
I'm feeling really great today! I have some new tools to help with urges when they come. I'm going to do my best to stay strong one day at a time..today is my day #2 looking forward to the future!
Suburban mom

Hello my name is Michelle and I am a compulsive gambler and liar because I lie and hide about my condition for years. Ever since my marriage deteriated in 1999 I started not to care about anyone or anything for that matter I only cared about poker machines. I have a wonderful man in my life that is completely tired of me killing our relationship in regards to my gambling addiction. I thought to myself that I could lick it on my own but its gotten so out of hand that even my boyfriend wants to leave me because of our financial stress and the lies that go with gambling. It has gotten so bad that I even blame him for things thats not even his fault its mine. I am scared and frighten that he will leave and I will be alone but then again I can't blame him for doing so. I told him this evening to take care of my finances until I get well I don't know if he will comply or just throw in the towel and leave. I can only hope and pray that he won't. I made him a victim of all this and its me who is doing the harm. Now everybody sees me for who I and I don't want to live this nightmare anymore. If I had the money I would go to 21 day treatment center so I can get better but I am planning to go to GA I wish their was a class sooner than Monday but there isn't. I would love some comments and encouragement from anyone out there to give me the strength and courage to deal with my demons and to get my life back on track so I can truly be happy.

Thanks for listening

Michelle

Hi Michelle,
I'm so glad you posted, you sound just like me. Hang in there until Monday and do not go to the casino! You can do it, just take one day at a time. If you get the urge today, tell yourself that you can go later or tomorrow. Then when you get the urge again do the same thing until the urge passes. I talked in the meeting that I went to yesterday, the topic was on anger. You mentioned that you blame your boyfriend for things that are not even his fault...I do the same thing. I lie to everyone, mostly him. I get mad at him because he lives in lala land. I have asked him so many times to take over the money and to give me a allowance (of course without telling him I'm a compulsive gambler) but he has not done it. He does have his own bank account now, that good so I at least can't spend his pay check too. I would love to go to a 21 day treatment center but that's not going to be possible, so I am just going to have to admit to myself that I have this sickness and actually make an effort, a HUGE effort to fight it. I am going to a meeting on Monday night too, I figure Monday and Fridays are good days for me to go to meetings, those are my strongest urge days. We can keep each other accountable, we can do this! I went to a wedding last night and there were a couple of woman there that I have gambled with, luckily I was with my husband, I'm sure after the wedding (in fact they left early) they hit the casino till the weeee hours-that is what I would normally have done. I'm so happy I did not go last night, I feel so much better today than I would normally, I would normally not have had any sleep, because after I gamble, I feel so guilty and discusted with my self I can't even sleep.
I met some great people yesterday, it is so nice to go somewhere where you don't feel like a total loser, you can speak openly and you are not judged at all, in fact you will more than likely feel like you are taking care of this at a good time in your life,not waiting until were in our 60's like some of the people that I met.
I hope to hear back from you....go to the meeting PLEASE and I will too.
Take care, I will be thinking about you and saying a prayer just for you.
Suburban mom

Michelle, I,too,will be praying that God gives you strength and courage.