First time user looking for encouragement

Hi, Annie
Sorry about your story. Been there. Not a happy place. My wife gave me an ultimatum which forced me to get help. Your husband is not doing that now, but trust me it will happen real soon. You need help. Get help. Don't let you whole life unravel first, because it will.
I'm in Gamblers Anonymous for 6 years and recently I also joined Alanon. If I am understanding you correctly, i think you're also a great candidate for Alanon. You're married 22 years and only 3 years ago you started gambling out of control. Prior to that you lived around addictions. That's what Alanon is for. If you let those feelings go, as you said, "all of this I was able to cope with in some way, ". Then it can turn into your own compulsive behaviors.

You are a good person with a serious disease. Get yourself into the right program(s), get a good therapist, and commit to yourself to stay on this path longterm. You didn't get this way over a few weeks, and you won't be able to change it instantly.

I have uncovered so much junk from my life, but I'm able now to do things differently. I'm also able to be imperfect and even celebrate my imperfections. There's a lot I need to learn about myself in addition to what I already uncovered. But the first and most important step for me was to set up a solid support system. I have that in three meetings I attend each week and I am on the phone with friends from these meetings daily. This gives me a feeling of safety and allows me to do the work necessary to take care of me.

People don't just become addicts or gamblers overnight. It isn't the loss of the job that created this. You're sitting on a lot of pain. You possibly medicated it with the job or at least were able to distract yourself by working. Now, without the job, you have nowhere to store the pain. So naturally you gamble. It is a vicious cycle. We feel pain, we gamble to numb that pain, we lose our pants, we feel guilty, we feel more pain, we gamble more, and the cycle continues until......prison, insanity, or death!

Get yourself the help you need and deserve. You can do this. You can live a better life. The lousy job is not what made you of value. You are valuable in your own right.

Best of luck!

Hi Annie,
Just by reaching out and facing the addiction is amazing as many have to hit bottom before they can do so. My husband is a slot addict, among other things...He has lost thousands and yet when he hits all is forgotten. It is a hard disease and masks something so deep within you. After all you have been thru you have found your own way to "escape". Like all addictions it will take you down. I have not put any restrictions on my husband and in Oklahoma there is no self imposed lock-out. All I ask is that he tell me when he goes. Accountability!! Support groups work if you work 'em. You sound smart, strong and a bit ahead of the curve. Do this for you, noone eles......In my thoughts.

Hi Annie,
I've joined GA on Jan 25, relapsed once, than back again and now I am clean 14 days! I go to meetings almost every day. Live in a big city, so there is always a GA meeting somewhere within 1/2 hr drive.
It must be hard for you, since you have so far to meetings.
I also think about how much money I save by not gambling, per day.
Annie, Instead of gambling, just buy something...for yourself..or for someone you like or love...it will make you feel better.

If you want to share your progress with me, feel free to contact me on my new website for people like me www.StopTheSlotBuyALot.com.
One Day at A Time actually makes sense. Just think how much money you can save by not gambling for ONE DAY!
Sometimes just keeping yourself occupied with anything...helps to stay away from the casino. (that's why I love the GA meetings..lol)
Stay Strong! You can do it!
Maggie